Point, click, love

Matt Griesmyer

Matt Griesmyer

The Signal Staff

“Let’s go out on a date,” I said in a questioning manner.

With the thrill that can only be delivered through the anonymity of circuits and wires, I waited for her response.

The trumpet fanfare that announced a message sounded through my computer speakers.

“Sure,” she replied.  She added a cute “:)” to show that she was happy.

Yes, I met my girlfriend online.

People tend to have a certain stigma when it comes to online dating.  People still have an improper image of online people: everyone is a 40-year-old stalker who has a creepy glare and lives in his mother’s basement.

I am not quite 40 years old, Mother lives downstairs, thank you very much, and she says my glare is only slightly creepy.

When it comes to online dating, much less any kind of dating, there is the “truth” and then there is the truth.

Do I go to bars that often?  Not at all.  I just go to the pub around the corner and drink like a fish.  You know the old adage “where everybody knows your name?”  They know my name and more of my history than the IRS.

Am I into the drug scene?  Not at all.  Never mind the smoke billowing from my bedroom window that evokes memories of Cheech and Chong movies. Anyways, the only smoke that I even inhaled was legal, and I gave that up. Am I the only one who has a serious craving for pizza and ice cream?

Getting to know someone through the silicon-lined passages of cyberspace can be a daunting challenge and a dangerous task for anyone, but no more so than meeting someone in a bar.

When you get on any Web site geared toward meeting new people – I believe the term now is social networking – it prompts you to fill out a questionnaire.  Sample questions include a physical description, questions about what you are looking for, religious views (the most comedic of these included pastafarian – the religion of the flying spaghetti monster) and other basic questions.

After these annoyingly repetitive set of questions, essays are filled out that correspond to archetypical conversation among bar patrons.
Tell us about yourself.
What are you looking for?

What is your ideal first date?

The essays presented are all responses to questions that end up being thrown around much like small talk over a tall frosty or short and potent glass of liquid courage – save for the inevitable embarrassment of throwing a pickup line at an uninterested person and getting a fake phone number with six digits.

By the way blonde girl from that club downtown, I think you gave me a wrong phone number.

In the end, online dating is actually a more long-term solution to meeting people in the so-called real world.

When you go to a bar, you get a picture of a person with a dash of the truth they want to share with you.

When you go to a dating Web page, you get a snapshot of people (rarely does someone not post a picture), along with a description of their views.

Can these responses and snapshots of people be modified into not being completely accurate?

Absolutely, but no more than common barstool distortion of the truth.

Guys, sucking in the gut and getting your sister to make up your hair and your outfit will not hide the fact that sometimes you can be focused on only one thing.

Girls, put your push-up bras and low-cut whatsits away.  A guy is going to like you for who you are not what you are.  Well, most guys anyway.

The key to any scenario involving a future Mrs.. or Mr. Right, or any romantic scenario, is the truth presented.  The quality of the relationship depends on the honesty given in the first place.

What can you do to keep yourself safe in a blind-dating scenario, whether online or otherwise?
A big tip that, unfortunately, many do not follow is to keep the first few dates public.  There are people out there who can be a bit dodgy, but by arranging the date location for somewhere public, it prevents the possibilities of unsavory individuals who can take advantage of the situation.

For those who ridicule or tell frightening tales of blind dates and creepy e-stalkers who just cannot leave you alone, realize that while it is paramount to remain safe around unfamiliar people, the Internet is not as it once was.  Online dating can be a wonderful tool to those who are shy or just do not have the time to sit and pitch themselves to strangers in a strange place.

For those who use online dating sites now, be not ashamed for the sources you utilize to find a date.  Stand up and be proud.  Raise your mice and keyboards into the air and shout at the top of your lungs “I AM AN E-DATER AND I AM PROUD OF IT!”

The simple fact of the matter is that in all aspects of relationships, romantic or otherwise, the outcome always reflects the effort and honesty invested from the beginning.