Sonya Lynch
The Signal Staff
Decisions, decisions. From the time the alarm goes off we begin to make decisions. Many of us find ourselves living day-in and day-out making pretty much the same decisions some without understanding why.
Years ago I realized that many of my decisions were made to please others, and I had totally abandoned thoughts for my own life.
I was not the only one. Sitting in conversations with other young women, I found many of them compartmentalized their lives into the experiences of others. I decided to take some time to reflect on my choices.
I saw that I had begun to surround myself with people who did a lot of things but had no quality experiences. I was not even enjoying the company I kept. The words of the Greek philosopher Epicteus, came to mind. He said, “We are disturbed not by what happens to us, but our thoughts about what happens,” and “Suffering arises from trying to control what is uncontrollable, or from neglecting what is within our power.”
So, I decided to make a change by viewing life realistically. I began to analyze my acquaintances. There were people in my life who took more than they gave. They were not bad people, but there was nothing I could give them that would be enough to make them stop taking more than I actually wanted to give. Now I had a choice to accept them and keep them in my life by setting boundaries for our relationship or I could move on. I chose to move on.
I was in my twenties with a small child, so I asked some of the experienced mothers around me how they found local events to attend. I began doing the same and met people who motivated me to reach out for that next level in my life – people who encouraged healthy behavior and understood that “no” was not rejection, but a decision to choose something else.
Of all the decisions we make, the ones we make for ourselves are the most powerful. If you’re not happy with your life, change what you can. If you have someone in your life who you want to keep in your life, accept them the way they are. They’re just being themselves.
If you have gained weight over a period of time, you’re not going to lose it in one night or one week. Take an arm full of clothes into the changing room and find out what suits the new you. Hold your head up, correct your posture and greet the world as it is. Pass the clothes on when you lose the weight.
Change your expectations if things don’t turn out the way you expect. Don’t dwell on what has passed. Let people who have hurt you and memories that cause pain go. Allow yourself to heal. That is within your power.
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