What is the biggest regret of your life? What if you had a second chance?

Website offers clean conscience

Ashley Smith

The Signal

“I’m still here.”

With those three little words, thousands of posters on Kevin Hansen’s website SecretRegrets.com breathed a sigh of relief.

The words came from a teenage girl who had posted days earlier that she did not deserve to see the New Year and planned to kill herself on New Year’s Eve. Her biggest regret was not being brave enough to tell the ones she loved her plans of ending her life.

SecretRegrets.com asks its visitors a question that closest friends and family wouldn’t dare ask, “What is your biggest regret?” Thousands of people have flocked to this site, not only to post their regrets, but to lend support to others who are suffering with theirs.

“We can’t ignore the pain our regrets have caused, but we can acknowledge it and put it behind us,” said Kevin Hansen, Secret Regrets creator and author.

Hansen created the site in 2007 when he became fascinated with the type of confessions people were revealing on blogs and other websites. He wanted to create a website that focused specifically on regrets. On his site, people would be given a tool that gave them an outlet to acknowledge the one thing in their life that they would change if given a second chance.

The website then took on a life of its own and something happened that Hansen did not expect.

“Complete strangers would leave comments of support, understanding and advice,” Hansen said. “Comments that let people know that they were not alone in what they were facing.”

There can be risks to opening up on a public forum; responses can end up being more harmful then helpful.

“There are better, safer, healthier, more productive venues like the counseling center on campus,” said Betty Brown, psychologist and outreach coordinator at UHCL. “People open themselves up to criticism and verbal abuse and it cannot be helpful to be publicly flogged.”

Despite the risk, people seem to find comfort in expressing their regrets on Hansen’s site for all to see. To date, more than 10,000 regrets have been submitted, and the site has had nearly a half million visits from 165 countries worldwide.

The website became just a starting point for Hansen. He compiled hundreds of the most powerful and popular regrets into his book, “Secret Regrets: What if you had a Second Chance?” released in July 2010. The regrets featured in the book, as well as the website, range from the common regret of unrequited love to the shocking.

“I would always post one new ‘featured’ secret regret of the day,” Hansen said. “As the site grew, it became too overwhelming to keep all of them posted online. Many asked that I compile a collection of the most helpful, hopeful and inspiring posts into a book.”

With the release of the book, Hansen has been able to garner more attention for his website, even being featured on an episode of “The Dr. Phil Show,” which will air later this month. As for future plans, he will continue with a sequel to his book, which he is currently working on and is scheduled to hit stores in the fall.

“Like the old adage says, ‘confession is good for the soul,’” Brown said. “Talking can be productive, but in a helpful place.”

The site itself will continue to offer people a chance to display their innermost regrets and, hopefully, offer support for those willing to let it out.

“I want people to realize the incredible power of healing that lies within revealing,” Hansen said. “It really is the first step in moving on. Life is too short to live in the past.”

Editor’s note: Hansen will be featured on the April 1, 2011, airing of “The Dr. Phil Show.”