There’s a light at the end of the tunnel

Jennifer Cox

The Signal

I have seen my world crumble before my eyes on more than one occasion; in the past five years I have lost my mom, my unborn baby and my husband.

My mom’s death was expected because she was sick with cirrhosis of the liver due to diabetes.  The losses of my unborn baby and my husband were totally unexpected. No matter if a loss is expected or unexpected, the experience is heartbreaking.

My mom became extremely ill in November 2005 before passing away in November 2006. That was one of the hardest days of my life.

When my mom passed, I started drinking and dropped out of college; however, I did learn my lesson the hard way. I started counseling and went back to college because before my mom passed, I told her that I would “walk across the stage one more time.”

A few months later, I met my husband; we had our first child in June 2008 and were trying to have a second one. Three months into the pregnancy, I went to the hospital to find out we had lost the baby. Despite the traumatic loss, I was back in school, working and had a child to raise, so I couldn’t afford to fall apart. I had responsibilities to help get me through the rough time; keeping busy really does help.

In June 2009, as we were about to celebrate our son’s first birthday, I received a phone call that changed my life forever. My neighbor called to inform me that my husband had been in a truck accident and died at the scene.

For a moment I was in shock and speechless. A few seconds later, I lost it. I was beyond angry. I was inconsolable and furious because our son would have to grow up without his dad.
This time I had to learn to channel all these feelings of loss more responsibly. I went back to counseling to help deal with the many emotions that I felt at one time.

When it seems like your world is closing in on you, it’s important to seek help. It took professional counseling and the support of family and friends to help me get through my losses.
At UHCL, students can seek help from counseling services, psychological services and health services.

Just know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am living proof of this. I am in my last semester of college and my son makes every day a pleasure to wake up to. Without the help of family, friends and counseling, there is no way I would have gotten to where I am today.