Rated-R for the revolution against remakes

Daniel Agee

The Signal

It seems that the only thing you can see at a movie theater this year are remakes, reboots, sequels or prequels.

In fact, IMDB.com has just released an article that there are nearly 100 movies being released over the next two years consisting of either a franchise reboot, remake of a classic or just adding more sequels to an existing franchise.

Has Hollywood lost all creativity? Where is the originality? I want to see a movie where I can’t predict what happens next. Hollywood directors have become flat out lazy and lack the ambition to create something new.

There is a reason why it is hard to remake a classic. It’s called a classic because it has separated itself from all other films at that time. So, what does that leave the audience of 2011 with?

Let’s go ahead and crash right into these examples of how bad this year’s movies are with “Fast Five.” “Fast Five” is the fifth installment of the “Fast and The Furious” franchise. How many times can they tell this story? With the combination of bad acting from Paul Walker and Vin Diesel, Hollywood juiced up the franchise by adding “The Rock” or excuse me, now known by his acting name, “Dwayne Johnson.” “Fast Five” opened at more than $86 million. Come on people, quit giving this franchise money.

Where do I begin with “Transformers 3?” Wait, I mean “Transformers: Dark of the Moon.” Michael Bay, who apparently didn’t want the movie to be known as “Transformers 3,” needs to know changing the title does not improve the movie.

If you have seen the movie, it’s basically “Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen,” but with a five-minute clip of Neil Armstrong finding a buried Transformer on the moon.

How do you cast Patrick Dempsey as the villain? Dempsey has already stereotyped his image as Dr. McDreamy on ABC’s hit show “Grey’s Anatomy,” to think he could even pull off a bad guy made the movie quite laughable. Bay has branded himself in Hollywood as the guy who uses lots of explosions and no plot development.

I have to give him credit, however, replacing Megan Fox with supermodel Rosie Huntington-Whiteley who quickly made me forget Fox was even in the first two films.

How could they possibly make a “Paranormal Activity 3?” By telling the story from a prequel point of view, from the beginning when the two sisters were young. Basically we will tell the same story for a third time, in a different house, at a different time, and no one will know the difference. This is ridiculous. The sad part is it will probably open at around $30 million. Chances are next year they will make “Paranormal Activity 4” in 3D. Because 3D is so cool. It’s like the move is right in your face.

How cool is 3D? There is nothing worse than watching a BAD movie in 3D. I walked out of the movie theater because “Pirates of the Caribbean 4” in 3D was so bad. I thought for sure after walking out that it would be last of the Pirate films. But sure enough, I read an article where Johnny Depp just signed on for Pirates 5 and 6.

It doesn’t get any better, folks, with many more prequels, sequels, remakes and reboots to come. I feel sorry for the people who paid to watch “Footloose,” “Scream 4,” “Fright Night” and “The Hangover 2.”

What can we do to change this? Well, first of all, we can stop endorsing these bad movies. If these franchises keep producing profit at the box office then they will never fade away. Second of all, Hollywood directors need to sit back and reexamine the future of films. When will be the next time we can consider a film a classic?

Hollywood needs to produce stories where the audience can get lost with something we have never seen before. Movies are supposed to help people escape from their own reality and forget they are even sitting in a movie theater to begin with. And STOP, please STOP, making SAWS. I’ve seen all the “SAWS” I can see.