After five months of planning my friend’s 25th birthday cruise, the day finally arrived for our group of seven women, six of us being single, to board the Carnival Cruise ship bound for Cozumel, Mexico.
For four of us, this was our first time being on a ship, so our expectations were high. I imagined walking into the perfect scene: smooth jazz music playing over the intercom while we are greeted with champagne. Then, an escort ushers us to the level on which our large, comfy staterooms are located. Later, we prepare for an elegant dinner. I envisioned everything perfectly, but I forgot to factor in the bloopers. Who knew my fantasy vacation would get lost in real life once I heard, “All Aboard!”
Filled with excitement, we took numerous selfie pictures and videos to capture our embarkation on to the ship as we walked across the gangplank. After checking in, we were immediately surrounded by hundreds of people, which quickly ended our photo shoot. Scattering like roaches, everyone scurried to find their staterooms by following signs on the walls. Then it gets interesting. We discover we’re on a ship with 300 married couples…on a church marriage retreat.
After walking up three flights of stairs to skip the long elevator lines, my roommate and I finally arrived at our cabin out of breath. Fumbling the key and panting with joy to open the door, we found ourselves walking into a large $400 “closet” referred to as our room. It had barely enough space for the two beds and tiny bathroom. Talk about an instant case of claustrophobia.
After observing our miniscule surroundings while trying to catch our breath, we agreed to avoid opening the $5 bottle of water on the counter that whispered, “open me.” Having passed that test, I hit my big toe on the restroom border entry because it’s only “logical” to step up into the bathroom? Sitting on my bed, I realized this was going to be a long trip.
After adjusting to my comfy “room” and accepting how noticeably single I was on this cruise, it was time for a little distraction. Checking out the Fun Time card that stated all of the activities and dining experiences aboard, I was excited to read about everything the ship offered; there was a casino, live entertainment, karaoke, several comedy shows, trivia games and fun shops to keep us occupied. I was pumped and ready to let the good times roll.
Then motion sickness kicked in, and none of that fun stuff mattered anymore. I was extremely queasy and dizzy for two days, and there wasn’t enough Dramamine in the world – or the Gulf of Mexico – to save me. Instead of participating in the Fun Time events, the swaying from the ship made my cot feel like a portable waterbed, making it tempting to sleep the whole vacation away.
Ding ding, sounds the bell announcing dinnertime as the clock struck 7 p.m. After missing our appointed fine dining meal, my friends and I walked to the buffet deck to stand in a line seeming longer than a mile. Once we scavenged for food, our next adventure was to find a place to sit amongst the married couples.
Not only were there couples everywhere, but they decided it would be cute to wear the same color everyday. We were completely surrounded by red shirts one day, then green shirts the next – a constant reminder of how single we were. At pool parties, we felt like our grandparents were supervising us. The awkward feeling grew worse if husbands accidently looked in our direction. Needless to say, alcoholic beverages were a must.
The best part about the cruise was when we walked to the top of the ship and watched the ocean go by as dolphins leaped in the air to say hello. Even that sense of peace was short lived. The moment was ruined by a true “Titanic” scare when the ship started rocking and tilting slowly from side to side, and all we could think was how fun the trip was while it lasted. But hey, I suppose that happens when you decide to cruise during hurricane season.
On the third day, we arrived in Cozumel and couldn’t wait to leave the ship of buzzkills. Goodbye ship and hello Mr. Sancho’s all-inclusive resort, where the real fun took place.
As I gazed upon the clear, pretty blue water at Mr. Sancho’s resort, I thought about all the bloopers and awkward moments it took to get to the beach. I thought about how the trip was worth it to see this beautiful place and the wonderful people living here.
Ultimately, this surely isn’t the end of my cruise vacations, but I know now to do my research before I plan another trip. So until we meet again my fellow cruisers, I’ll keep sailing into the Promised Land.
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Enjoyed the article but my advice – buyer beware. Cost should never be a delimiter in deciding vacations but that only comes with experience and money.