In honor of Asexual Awareness Week, which runs from Oct. 21 through Oct. 27, I’d like to shed some light on what I identify as: asexual. No, I’m not talking about the asexual reproduction you learned in Biology class. I’m talking about sexual orientation. Asexuality in this context means to not feel sexual attraction. There are some who do feel sexual attraction but only rarely (Gray-Ace) or only after developing a deep, emotional bond (Demisexual) and still fall under the asexual umbrella.
Asexuality can be hard to understand as it is a lack of something most people experience. How do you explain a lack of sexual attraction to someone who has felt that their entire life? Considering I have no frame of reference for what sexual attraction is like, it can be difficult for me to explain. I’ve created an analogy that seems to work in most cases I’ve encountered.
Picture a human figure with a light bulb at their heart and another light bulb at their genitals. These represent the two prominent forms of attraction that we feel toward others. The heart is romantic attraction and the other is sexual attraction. So, for an asexual person, the bottom light bulb would never, or rarely, light up or flash. Their top light bulb might light up for men, women, or all manner of genders, or if they are aromantic, it might not light up at all.
One misconception I’d really like to clear up is the myth that Asexual people never have sex. While it’s true that there are some asexuals who are repulsed by sex, not all asexuals are. Some are simply indifferent and some may even enjoy it. It can be hard to understand, and that’s okay. The most important thing is to simply accept it. You don’t have to understand everything fully to be able to accept someone for who they are and give them the respect they deserve as a human being.
