CONTRIBUTION: LGBTQIA+ Town Hall Speech
Sirena Gonzalez’ speech at the UHCL LGBTQIA+ Town Hall on March 12.
Hello UHCL faculty, students, staff, alumni, community members, and guests. My name is Sirena Gonzalez, and I am a non-binary student at the University of Houston- Clear Lake. My pronouns are they/them/and theirs. My prefix is Mx., so you may refer to me as Mx. Gonzalez if you would like. My major is Early Childhood through 6th grade Education, and my minor is in Communications. I am a full-time student in my Senior year taking 12 credit hours. I work a part time job with an average of 18 hours a week. I serve as the Director for the Hawks 4 Community student organization, and am a member of the Latinx and Indigenous Students Taking Action student organization.
Prior to addressing the issues I have outlined in my speech today, I would like to take this time to thank a few people. I would first like to thank my sister, Marisa, who is here with me today. Thank you so much for showing up for me today, it means so much to me. Thank you for showing me your unconditional love and support. I love you so much. I would like to thank Erica S Lohmann for helping me revise and compose the address I am delivering today. Thank you to Stephanie Dang, an LGBTQ+ ally and awesome classmate. You have stood up to advocate for me, and paused to learn from me. I truly can’t begin to express my gratitude for that. Thank you to all of the LGBTQ+ students, friends, and allies who showed up in support for me, and all of the LGBTQ+ community today. Words cannot express the sincerity and love with which I personally thank you. This is the first LGBTQIA+ Town Hall in the history of UHCL, and it an honor to be speaking at this groundbreaking event. I would also like to thank Matthew Perry and Illiana B. Melendez for being the facilitators of this historical LGBTQIA+ Town Hall. As well, thank you to everyone who has made this Town Hall possible. With that, please do me the honor of listening to this address that I have put a lot of thought and consideration into. With an open mind and open heart I hope to reach every single one of you in this room today.
I spent Saturday March 6th from 8:30am to 2:45pm at the 2021 Annual STEM Conference, held virtually via Zoom. This event was presented by the UHCL College of Education & Provost Staff. I attended the following sessions: STEMming social studies, HOT science, Integrating Art into Climate Change, Inquiry to Action Framework, & Managing an Inquiry Class. Even though this professional development was required for a class, I have a deep love for the Art of Teaching, & I was very much looking forward to this event.
However, I was deeply offended, hurt, and excluded from this event virtually the whole time. Nearly all of the presenters at this event greeted or addressed participants with “Hey guys” or “Hello ladies and gentlemen.” As a non-binary person these statements made me feel unseen and unwelcome. I felt unseen and unwelcome because my presence and my existence were not acknowledged. I have my pronouns on my Zoom profile name as, “(they/them) Sirena Gonzalez.” Even if the Zoom call was in gallery view where the individual screens are minimized, the first part of my profile name, which includes my pronouns, was still visible. Again, this misgendering occurred with nearly all of the presenters. This put me in a very uncomfortable position, and made me feel less inclined to participate than I had originally intended. I am deeply disheartened and hurt by this fact. Imagine with me if people regularly used the term “Hey ladies” when greeting or addressing others. There is a high chance that cisgender men, gender non-conforming, and non-cisgender people may feel excluded, hurt, or simply irritated by this greeting. The reason for this being is that they may not identify as a “lady.” This is the type of discomfort and frustration that I faced all day at the Annual 2021 STEM Conference on March 6th.
Furthermore, the presenter of “Managing an Inquiry Class”, named Tahirah Sylvester, mentioned a Smile File for things to “pick you up” as an educator. The Smile File was explained to the group as a slide of a Bible scripture was shared on the Zoom screen. I do not believe in the Bible nor practice Christianity, and I do not condemn those who do. There are so many other things that could be included in a Smile File besides just the Bible scripture. However, no further examples were provided by the presenter orally nor on the PowerPoint presentation. If the presenter had included these alternative examples I would’ve not felt excluded in the session. However, the only example provided on the slide was that of the Bible scripture. I understand freedom of speech, but again this excludes people who do not practice Christianity since no other examples were provided. This lack of inclusion ultimately led to the exclusion of non-Christian students, including myself.
Tahirah Sylvester also included phrases in the presentation that educators can say instead of “Stop talking” to silence a classroom. Included in this section was the phrase “ladies and gentlemen.” Once again, this phrase excludes non-cisgender and gender non-conforming people, including non-binary such as myself. Frustrated, I added in the public chat box, “(I) think you forgot to mention how ladies and gentlemen excludes non-binary people and people who do not use he/him or she/her pronouns.” Tahirah Sylvester never addressed my comment, and even misgendered me by calling me “Ma’am” at the end of the session. Again, my pronouns were clearly visible on my Zoom screen name, displayed as “(they/them) Sirena Gonzalez.” This made me feel extremely disrespected, and even more ready to leave the session after it was done.
There was a moderator, Chelsea M, who responded to my message in the public chat that addressed the harm that “ladies and gentlemen” could have on non-cisgender & gender non-conforming students. The moderator stated that I could use, “any other attention-getter that works with [my] class and their needs.” This statement assumes that LGBTQ+ students will only be in my classroom. Is this true? Am I to believe that no other teacher will ever have LGBTQ+ students? I think not. I then publicly messaged the moderator in question, “Well by including that (example of ‘ladies and gentlemen’) you’re encouraging teachers to exclude some students in their class. It should’ve been left out then if we’re trying to make sure all teachers are inclusive of all students.” The moderator then messaged me privately saying, “I understand. I brought it to Tahriah’s attention. I see how it is far too general.” I never indicated that the statement “ladies and gentlemen” was too general. If anything, I think they are too specific. They are gendered terms which exclude non-binary people. Tahriah, who the moderator said they brought my concerns to, was the presenter. Again, this presenter never addressed my comments in the public chat nor orally. I was even called “Ma’am” by Tahriah despite having my pronouns clearly stated in my Zoom display name. Chelsea M, the moderator who addressed my messages in the chat, messaged publically again as other participants continued to provide further alternative examples to “ladies and gentlemen” as a classroom management tool. She wrote in response to these comments, “Yes, but I think Sirena is saying that ‘guys’, ‘everyone’, and ‘friends’ are too general because they’re almost like cop-out to not say ‘boys and girls’ or ‘ladies and gentlemen.’” I was truly shook to my core that somebody who doesn’t understand my experience as a non-binary person was speaking on my behalf about things that are not true to me. Furthermore, Chelsea M, somebody I literally just met was putting words in my mouth and further making me feel silenced.
A fellow student and LGBTQ+ ally, Stephanie Dang, who I know from class was attending. She messaged in the public chat following the moderator’s comments, where the majority of this exchange took place. She asked, “Would you think it’s inappropriate to say ‘hey y’all’ to get students’ attention?” This simple message made me feel like someone was finally giving me the validation to speak my mind and share my voice. This type of active allyship was much appreciated. I then messaged the group in the public chat, “I have no problem with general statements…hey y’all would be appropriate. It’s just gendered statements like ‘Hey guys’ excludes students who do not use he/him (pronouns). An example would be like if ‘hey ladies’ was used all the time as a general statement. Men and gender non-conforming people might feel excluded if this is used all the time since they might not identify as a lady. But I think ‘hey y’all’ or ‘hey everyone’ is appropriate because it is general and not gendered. Hope this makes sense.” The moderator in question, Chelsea M, replied in the public chat “It does! Thank you!” After this public message was sent she messaged me privately stating, “Thank you for sharing. I hope I didn’t misinform anyone! And if I did, I hope it didn’t come off as ignorant! I am still learning : )!” I did not respond to this communication. However well intending this communication was, my pain and frustration was still amplified because this person did not say, “I’m sorry” or even take accountability for speaking on the behalf of a stranger. This should never happen. Once again, I will make it clear that Tahirah Sylvester never addressed me or the comments in the public chat, and misgendered me at the end of the event when I asked a question despite my pronouns being clearly visible.
It is emotionally and mentally exhausting for me, and other gender non-conforming people, to be put in these situations where we feel excluded. Not only that, but to then have to educate people on the damage gendered statements and misgendering can do. This makes these situations all the more uncomfortable and draining. I am studying to be a teacher, but it is not my job to teach UHCL presenters, faculty, staff, students, and the community at large how harmful and hurtful these statements are. This misgendering and exclusion did not just happen to me on March 6th, but is something I have to deal with on a daily basis. A daily basis at the University of Houston Clear-Lake, at work, in public, and in my personal life. This is why I think that there should be mandatory training at UHCL, and frankly all university campuses, in order to make all spaces more inclusive for not just LGBTQ+, but gender non-conforming people as well. I am faced daily with microaggressions and situations like this that make me feel uncomfortable, offended, and excluded as a non-binary LGBTQ+ person. There should be mandatory training to prevent this, just how there is training over sexual assault. I do feel that this issue is a form of verbal assault, discrimination, and/or exclusion. Every time gendered statements are made or someone is misgendered, discrimination & exclusion happens. It should never be allowed to happen. Nobody should be expected to “put up” with an environment like this. I think there are people at this university who can make real change, and I am calling on each and every one of them to do so because this behavior and experience is not okay.
President Blake mentioned in the introduction to the STEM Conference on March 6th that an art piece in her office represents the spectrum/fluidity of gender. I think that was awesome to see, and it did make me feel welcome. However, I do not think the collective behaviors displayed at the 2021 Annual STEM Conference hosted by UHCL College of Education reflect that acceptance. I think that the mandatory student, staff, and faculty training should include topics that reflect the acceptance that Dr. Blake seems to have. The University can have statements and clauses that say that they are accepting of all staff & students, but until that is put into practice those statements will never become a reality. If those statements are not active through action, then the university will continue to exclude LGBTQ+ students in the future long after I’m gone. If this type of exclusion is allowed to happen and no real change comes from this address, then I think that speaks to the true character of the University of Houston Clear-Lake and how much they actually value their students. All students. Students are the number one stakeholders at a university. We are paying to go to school here, and we are funding certain programs & offices. I wish that the University of Houston- Clear Lake would show through their actions that this is true. Actions do speak louder than words after all. As I previously stated, this can be done through instating required training for students, staff, and faculty about LGBTQ+ discrimination & exclusion. Furthermore, the University can push for LGBTQ+ inclusion by incorporating pronouns, prefixes, and suffixes that are not exclusive to those who identify as male or female. These changes can be made across all university platforms, offices, and official records.
My hope is that from this address we can prevent anyone else from feeling how I felt on that fateful Saturday, March the 6th, 2021. Discrimination awareness, training, and practices do not stop with LGBTQ+ people. My hope is that the University of Houston- Clear Lake & the community will lift up their voices, give of their time, & commit all of their spare energy, however small, to stand up for the equality & advancement of all minorities. The advancement of the poor, the unprivileged; the black, the brown, the albino; the mentally and physically disabled or ill; the women, the non-binaries; the she’s, gay’s, they’s, queer, and questioning; the immigrants, the fugitives, the undocumented, the Native Americans; the veterans, the survivors, the ones who sacrifice, the thrivers; the mothers, the fathers, the care-takers, the way-makers; the Muslims, the Hindus, the Buddhists, the Agnostics, the Atheists; the scared, the silent, the strong, and the unsure. I see you, and guess what? You matter. If nobody else will tell you that, then know that you matter to me. Me, a college student who has struggled through life in many ways. A college student who has known pain and grief. A college student who has been told that they are unworthy to be seen, to be heard, and to be respected. A college student who has been hit by life so hard, as I’m sure many of you can relate to. A college student who has been through all those obstacles, and with therapy & seeking medical help was able to make it above and beyond those obstacles. This college student sees you, and cares about you. You matter. Nobody should ever have to feel like they are excluded, unseen, dismissed, disrespected, and like they simply don’t matter. By holding the people in power accountable, we can move forward in making real change. I am simply a college student who decided to send one fateful e-mail on March the 6th to express my personal frustration and pain. As a result of that, I am standing at this LGBTQIA+ Town Hall, the first ever in UHCL history. I did not know that I was going to be the first to make this type of impact regarding LGBTQ+ discrimination, inclusion, and rights at this institution. However, I hope that I am not the last to speak up and speak out when it comes to issues of discrimination and exclusion. I am simply a college student who decided to plant an idea of change in the minds of our University’s leaders. An idea of change which is rooted in action through campus-wide training, initiatives, and documentations on all platforms. We need to have these critical conversations with others and ourselves, while making real & positive change for the advancement of all students. All of them. For the equality of all students. All of them. For the dignity of all students. All of them.
My name is Mx. Sirena Gonzalez, and I would like to leave you with this closing statement. On behalf of the entire LGBTQ+ community: We are here; we are queer; and we are not going anywhere. We will be heard. Thank you.
