BLOG: The chaos caused for a mom by COVID-19
EDITORS NOTE: 5/2/20 – Post has been updated to include a reflection blog by the author.
April 6, 2020
Here is what a day in the life of a full-time college student, who happens to be a mom, looks like during our new chaotic norm:
- Wake up.
- Check on the world.
- Decipher what information to catalog, and what to deem “fake news.”
- Spend the rest of my day trying not to let the stress swallow me whole while I start the two oldest kids on their daily assignments.
- Wait, the baby needs me.
- Hold on, the toddler needs me.
- Check personal emails… looks like the kids schools sent out seven new ones since last night.
- Don’t forget to check my college email. Looks like campus is closed, and all classes are online now. That’s ok, four out of five of my classes were online anyways. Boy was I absolutely WRONG on that last thought.
Let’s discuss.
Now, in my whole 31 years on this planet, I could have never begun to imagine what is unfolding right now. I don’t even know if I fully understand it, even at this point in time. We have a disease that is extremely contagious and spreads faster than any of us can fathom. This disease has caused such a panic that everything is shutting down.
For the first time, in what I believe in forever, the whole nation, and other countries, are fighting the same thing. While that is kind of a cool thing to think about, that we are all coming together, and will hopefully be stronger coming out the other end of it, all I can think about is my own immediate bubble.
Now in this bubble, we see a mom of three (four with the addition of her 12-year-old brother). A mom who started this quarantine thinking she was cool, calm and collected because the thought “I can handle one more online class” seemed doable.
That hope for an easy end of the semester is now a pipe dream. While I am confident it is doable, I am also slowly realizing the reality looks a bit different. My oldest, and my brother are in 5th and 6th grade, which means their teachers are now posting assignments for them as well.
While sitting at the kitchen table with my two oldest children and doing homework on our respective laptops would be ideal, that is not at all what is happening. Neither seem able to stay on task without me looking over their shoulders.
This wouldn’t be such an inconvenience if I didn’t have a toddler starving for attention, wishing for a play date at the park, or suffering from cabin fever. So while I would love to say she has been working on her own form of preschool homework quietly at the table too, she has been getting some quality time with Disney+ on the couch.
All of this would still be an average situation to handle if the baby wasn’t teething and taking the shortest naps he’s ever taken since joining our world. Now, this immediate bubble of mine drastically impacts what I see for the end of my semester.
I am currently looking at walking for graduation in December. COVID-19 has me wondering if I am going to be able to keep everything in order for the rest of the semester because I currently have Christmas break brain, where I don’t even know what day it is, let alone what assignments are due and when.
Also worrying about what effect our new normal is going to have on finding an internship for the summer semester. Do they even have social distancing internships? I don’t think that is a thing yet, but if we could make it happen, that would be greatly appreciated.
While I am trying to find a new system that works well for my chaotic crew and doesn’t drive me crazy, I am most worried about figuring out what to believe and what not to believe; because while I am working through facts or fiction, my kids are reading my emotions all over my face.
I want to be sure all my kids look back at this time and remember it as one long spring break instead of all the headlines that may be found in the media. So while COVID-19 is definitely making a memorable impact on our country, I have to keep in mind that when it passes, restaurants will be packed, traffic will go back to being a nightmare, people will hug, sneezes will be chalked up to allergies, and I can go back to buying toilet paper (and regular groceries) in bulk like I normally do.
Although, I hope the chronic handwashing and all the friendly new neighbors who walk by when we are outside stick around.
May 2, 2020
As I sit here on my couch tuning out most of my children’s cries and sounds of arguments from outside – don’t worry they are fine one just barely touched the other – I am told to reflect on how the end of the semester turned out compared to what I thought it would look like. I have got to say, it turned out pretty spot on with my predictions.
The chaos of having all my children, from ages 11 months to 12-years-old, at home with me all day has taken its toll on my productivity, both in household chores and classwork. While my kiddos are getting their assignments done on time – with the help of a motherly batman voice keeping them on task – I am tasked with finding small pockets of free time to work on my assignments.
This means using the baby’s nap time to take a quiz, instead of getting to snuggle the 3-year-old, or passing the baton to the husband before he even steps foot out of his car, so I can start a test without interruptions.
Although let’s be real, there are definitely interruptions, and sometimes they aren’t minimal.
Test taking without the option to leave the house or send the kids out and about with the husband has not been ideal. Test taking isn’t always easy to begin with but adding in screaming matches and a crying baby in the next room, the task gets even more difficult.
While keeping a schedule regarding my assignments hasn’t been the easiest thing to do, I have been met with so much understanding from all of my professors during this time. Knowing everyone had to make some adjustments to how they thought this semester was going to go has made me feel a little better about just how well, or not so well, I have taken to the adjustments.
As difficult as the schooling aspect of my semester may have been, I think what is taking the biggest toll on me is the mom aspect. Cabin fever does little for the perfectly patient mom from day one of stay at home orders.
The stress of not knowing just how the semester is going to fair in my favor has given me more than just my regular college student, mom of three anxiety. Add in not being able to go anywhere to sneak away for a bit brings on a little more tension.
I believe my kids are in the “’I’m not touching you’ while holding their finger to their sibling’s face” portion of the family road trip scenario, which has momma wondering if we will ever get through the tunnel that is COVID-19 and get to get out of our metaphorical car.
While it may seem it has been mostly stressful during this time, there have been plenty of pockets of sunshine where we will engage in family fun nights, movie nights, or even some video game nights – which the oldest loves because momma doesn’t do video games.
There has definitely been some good to come out of this in regards to more family time, but unfortunately having a lot on my mind has taken some joy from the fun. So, while I am doing my best to stay on track with my assignments, I find some comfort in knowing I can still make use of the satisfactory/unsatisfactory grading option if I need too.
I also find myself counting down the days until I can lounge on the couch and snuggle the 3-year-old while the baby naps without thinking about if I am missing assignments. I count down the days until I can stop having to use my batman voice to keep the older two on track with their schoolwork.
I don’t think I have ever been more ready to sing the song “Schools Out” by Alice Cooper, and with graduation a couple of breaths away, I am ready to shout it from the rooftops, once I make it through this semester of course.
