BLOG: Episode 3
Welcome to the circus literally no one was invited to but people came anyway
My very first concert was ‘The Circus Starring Britney Spears.’ I was a 15-year-old freshman in high school and the biggest Britney Spears fan.
My love for Britney Spears knew no bounds. I remember wearing her merch to school, crafting all my school projects so they referenced Britney Spears in some way and during my senior year, I had my hair done just like Britney’s in the “Everytime” music video.
People knew not to make fun of Britney Spears around me. I wouldn’t stand for those jokes. When a teacher asked me who my role model was, I answered Britney Spears without any hesitation. She then criticized my choice and I spent 20 minutes of the class explaining why Britney Spears was so much more (and so much stronger) than the tabloids led us to believe.
Now, I don’t know who Britney truly is and I doubt more than a handful of people do, but I did know that she was not the spectacle of a joke everyone made her out to be. She was strong and independent.
In high school, I started realizing that my brain worked a bit differently than others. Now, I know that it was a combination of anxiety disorders and depression, but in high school, all I knew was that my mental health was very different than those around me. I took comfort in Britney Spears, who lives with bipolar disorder. I found strength in her success – if she could be okay, so could I.
In 2021, I do not talk about Britney Spears as much as I did. I don’t love her any less, but I got tired of defending my love. I found it easier to talk about the other artists I love – Taylor Swift, Fall Out Boy, literally any musical theatre cast.
People don’t really make fun of Britney Spears as much as they used to. She’s no longer the number one joke made during award shows. However, people still talk about her public breakdown in a lighthearted joking way – if Britney Spears could make it through 2007, you can make it through the day.
I still defend her. When people say those things, I tell people to stop and that it’s not a joking matter. That’s as much as I talk about her to this day. Because it hurts to say anything else.
It’s the furrowed brows, the slight tilt of the head or the “why” spoken out loud by the few who felt comfortable in their superiority when I bring her up in a conversation. It felt like an invasion, a condescension of who I was all because I loved Britney Spears. So I stopped talking. I wasn’t going to let others belittle something and someone that I loved, respected and admired.
So, Britney Spears has been my quiet, little thing. I’ve only talked about the #FreeBritney movement with my high school friends and close family members. But I’ve followed the movement since the very beginning. I’ve listened to podcasts. I’ve kept up with her legal proceedings. I’ve quietly supported her because anything I said wouldn’t make a difference. People would still joke. They would still laugh, and I would be constantly angry.
But now Britney Spears is front-page news once more. However, this time it’s because people are beginning to realize how cold, callous and cruel they were to her. How the media built her up, just to completely tear her down and destroy her. For anyone who’s seen “Framing Britney Spears,” they know the media played heavily into her public breakdown and how the media framed her in a way that she ended up losing everything.
That’s the real kicker, isn’t it? Everyone preaches anti-bullying rhetoric, but America bullied a singer out of her choice to work, make financial and legal decisions for herself. They bullied a mother out of being able to see her children, a woman out of her basic rights to exist. An 18-year-old literally has more rights than Britney Spears.
So she just stopped. She stopped performing. She stopped making public appearances. She stopped making music. We, as a society, took everything away from her, so what right do we have to force her to entertain us.
And that’s what really sucks. She can just stop doing anything and yet she is still entertaining us. “Framing Britney Spears” proved that. Britney Spears had zero involvement with the documentary, but we still watched. Viewers then turned on Diane Sawyer and Justin Timberlake to apologize. The #FreeBritney movement was a headline for every major news organization. Britney Spears posted a message seemingly in response and that post made headlines.
Each person has their story and their take on other people’s stories !!!! We all have so many different bright beautiful lives !!! Remember, no matter what we think we know about a person’s life it is nothing compared to the actual person living behind the lens !!!!
— Britney Spears (@britneyspears) February 9, 2021
When I watched the documentary, I had conflicting emotions. I was irritated with myself that I could watch a film about her life filled with people talking about Britney Spears, but that she had no role in producing. However, I was also happy and relieved. People were now being held accountable for their participation in destroying a young girl’s life. People are seeing they were wrong.
So if Britney Spears isn’t talking, how should people start listening?
First, watch the documentary. People should feel wrong about watching it, but it lays out a timeline of events in a really accurate and eye-opening way.
Second, talk to Britney Spears fans and ask them why they love her. Each one of us has our own story about Britney Spears and none of it lies in tabloid jokes or rumors.
Third, research the movement and why people are fighting for Britney Spears and what the #FreeBritney movement hopes to accomplish.
Finally, and most importantly, look into what a conservatorship really means and how dehumanizing the practice has become.
My hope is that people walk away realizing how destructive our patriarchal system can be for young girls who come of age in front of the world. I hope that people realize their internalized misogyny and stopped dragging women through the mud just because they can. I hope that when people apologize to Britney Spears, they also apologize to Taylor Swift, Chloe Bailey, Billie Eilish and the countless other women people have belittled, insulted, and terrorized simply because they can.
