IMAGE: Cover of Kelsey Purcell's book "Refused To Be Silenced — #MeToo." Image courtesy of Kelsey Purcell. — Cover of Kelsey Purcell's book "Refused To Be Silenced — #MeToo." Image courtesy of Kelsey Purcell.

Breaking the silence: Kelsey Purcell bares all in her book ‘Refused To Be Silenced—#MeToo’

By Yesenia Diaz On Oct 8, 2018 1,065 0

PHOTO: Kelsey Purcell graduated from Midwestern State University with a BA in Mass Communications spring 2018. She is a survivor of domestic abuse. Photo courtesy of Kelsey Purcell. — Kelsey Purcell graduated from Midwestern State University with a BA in Mass Communications spring 2018. She is a survivor of domestic abuse. Photo courtesy of Kelsey Purcell.

Kelsey Purcell, a 21-year-old Midwestern State University alumna who graduated with a BA in Mass Communications spring 2018, is a survivor of verbal, emotional and sexual abuse.

In order to heal from such a traumatic experience, she began writing every day on her computer, breaking the silence between what happened behind closed doors during her college relationship. It eventually grew into a book.

“When I would write it on the page, I felt like it was being released from my mind,” Purcell said.

The book is called “Refused To Be Silenced—#MeToo,” and it was written and self-published by Kelsey Purcell, on June 28, 2018. Her book is available to any anyone interested in reading her story free of charge.

Purcell said she included the hashtag “#MeToo” in the title of her book because it felt empowering to know she was a part of a movement.

“For me, I knew I was part of it,” Purcell said. “I knew I was one of them, and it gave me a platform to share my story. It’s an empowerment. You’re not going to stand up and stand alone; we’re going to stand with you.”

The #MeToo movement spread virally in October 2017 as a hashtag used on social media in an attempt to demonstrate the widespread prevalence of sexual assault and harassment.

Jason Boothe, psychologist with the University of Houston-Clear Lake’s Counseling Services, knows that domestic violence is seen nationwide, and it can happen to anyone.

“Anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender can be a victim – or perpetrator – of domestic violence,” Boothe said. “It affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.”

When Purcell published her book, a lot of people told her, “I would have never pictured someone like you to have gone through that.”

“Well, what is a victim supposed to look like?” Purcell responds.

Purcell said her seemingly innocent relationship turned into a toxic one gradually.

“For anybody in that situation, it’s not something you recognize overnight,” Purcell said. “You don’t go into the relationship seeing the monster, you go into a relationship seeing the mask they’re wearing, and that was very much so him.”

Boothe said this is common in most abusive relationships.

“Abusive people can often be charming, especially at the beginning of a relationship, and the victim may hope that their partner will go back to being that person,” Boothe said.

Purcell said she originally thought of her abuser as her life preserver.

“I always imagined him as like my lifesaver,” Purcell said. “You know he was supposed to keep me afloat, but instead he was more like cinder blocks tied to my ankles. Then when I finally got out of the water entirely and realized I was no longer drowning, I looked back and it’s really him. It was always him who needed me for survival, not me who needed him.”

In hindsight, Purcell sees this experience as a blessing in disguise. She is a self-proclaimed “Jesus freak” and credits her success completely to her faith. Instead of seeing this experience in a negative light, she instead focuses on the good that came out of it.

“I think it’s been the most life-altering experience ever,” Purcell said. “I think sometimes it takes us being broken down to really see God shape us into who we are supposed to be.”

Purcell said she expected harsh criticism after releasing her book but said that did not matter to her.

“If this book can help even one person get out of an abusive relationship, or help bring one person closer to God, my purpose is fulfilled,” Purcell said.

Purcell said she refuses to let her past relationship define her because she knows her worth above everything.

“I was someone before him, knew I was going to be someone after him too,” Purcell said.

Boothe said domestic violence robs victims of their fundamental right to maintain control over their own lives.

“Individuals who are abused live in fear and isolation,” Boothe said. “Abusive people believe they have the right to control and restrict their partners, and they may enjoy the feeling that exerting power gives them.”

October may be Domestic Violence Awareness Month, but twelve million people are affected by domestic violence in the U.S. every year. Kelsey Purcell is one of the millions of people who have a story and one of the many who have come forward in the “#MeToo” movement.

“The most important thing to remember is that no matter why it happens, abuse is not okay, and it is never justified,” Booth said.

INFOGRAPHIC: This infographic breaks down the statistics of domestic violence. Infographic by reporter Yesenia Diaz. — This infographic breaks down the statistics of domestic violence. Infographic by The Signal reporter Yesenia Diaz.